By: Laura Zabriskie

  1. LISTEN FIRST. Allow the Military Spouse to set the scene for their current life goals, as well as their hopes for your call. Give them the space to share what they’re going through, free from your preconceived notions, before offering your input. And give yourself space to learn something new, too! Chances are you’ll come away with a new perspective.
  2. PROMPT WITH QUESTIONS. This may be this Military Spouse’s first time engaging in a mentoring conversation—there’s a chance they may be nervous! Try one of these questions to help break the ice and help them think through their own situation. The right answer may already be in front of them—they may just need your fresh eyes to help them see it!
    1. What do you want to achieve for yourself? For your family?
    2. How do you picture your ideal situation/career/outcome?
    3. What are the options or resources you’ve come up with so far? Have you tried them?
    4. What are some small, actionable goals that will get you closer to your ideal situation? How can I help you achieve them?
  3. BE A CONNECTOR. There’s a chance that you may not have the answers to every question you’ll be asked—but someone you know might! Use this opportunity to be a connector and expand this military spouse’s network. After your call is complete, you’ll be texted this Military Spouse’s email address so you can follow up with introductions.
  4. MOTIVATE, THEN STEP BACK. Remember that you’re helping this Military Spouse build a roadmap, but after your call, they’re the one at the wheel! Plan to end your call with a few achievable, actionable items for the Military Spouse to tackle—and then empower them to make it happen. If you’re willing, offer a second call and remember the goals you set today, so you can check in on their progress next time.

Author - Laura Zabriskie

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